New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
