Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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