dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
