I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
