I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
