Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
