Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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