i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
