I'm eating all of the evidence.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
You are a genius and a whore.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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