On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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