His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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