found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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