i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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