That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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