Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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