he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
organizing the empties. That sober.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
