i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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