So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
