Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
