I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
she looked like the before picture.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Two words: blizzard sex
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
