operation have a gay friend backfired
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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