new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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