i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Welp...herpes.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
