and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
