We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
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