My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
