I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I am naked and annoyed.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
