Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
