U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
