Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
