R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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