I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
