apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
