and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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