My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
