Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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