No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
