I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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