I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
