so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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