dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
