I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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