At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
