after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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