so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
