i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
