What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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