it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Randomize
