Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
