My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
